First Love (Sort of)

Day 19 of 30: Discuss your first love

This is not something that I like to discuss about, actually. But, for the sake of commitment, I will. If you read my previous post of 30 Facts About Me, you might notice that I suck at love, totally.

Just say that my first love was with this guy, when I was young and stupid. He was the first person that I thought reciprocated the feeling that I had. Previously, I was more of a secret admirer to my crushes. We had good times (at least I had) together. Like Nikka Costa said, the one that all I’m dreaming of, when I go to bed, when I lay my head upon my pillow. Basically, I fell hard head over heel for him. Every time that I spent with him was a treat. He was fun. Cheeky and adorable at the same time. I felt so open like I could share my whole world with him.

I remembered when we first accidentally went out together for lunch, we were so awkward. We chatted in English, for God’s sake! That was super-lol, since at that time my English was very bad. One time he asked me whether I had a boyfriend, I said I didn’t and he responded, “Really? Are all the guys who went to school with you blind?” I scoffed because I was trying so hard to hide my ridiculously happy grin.

Yeah, he left some memories. I remembered how he ate a lot and so lazy to work out, and I tried so hard to make him move his ass. I remember when I laughed so loud when I’m with him. I remember how I liked to stroke his hair. How I liked to rest my head on his shoulder because it was just so comfortable, like I could sleep there. I remembered how he said, “don’t go.” And I didn’t know whether to smile or cry because I liked the sound of it, but I knew he never meant it. Sigh.

Well, that was my first love. Sort of.


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